I Know What’s Wrong with Me!

I’ve long known I’m not exactly normal in a very specific way.

If you read my stuff, you’ll notice I don’t spend a lot of time describing what people look like. I’ll dwell on their relationships or how they move, but their hair color? Eye color? What they’re wearing? Those descriptions just don’t happen a whole lot.

And now… maybe I know why.

This week I watched a video on something called aphantasia. You can see it right here:

But… how does that work with a writer? I mean, doesn’t creating a work of fiction require mental imagery? I just spent about a month posting about all the books I’ve read in the last year. How could I possibly read all that without mental imagery?

Well, if I have aphantasia, it’s certainly not severe. But… maybe I have some form of it? Kind of?

(By the way, this is self-diagnosis at its finest. Don’t do this. Yeah, I’m kinda doing it anyway. Shut up.)

So when I read, I don’t see the characters. I have no idea what they’re wearing, their hair color, any of it. I don’t have a face for any of them. I have no clue what their voices sound like nor what it feels like where they are. These facets of mental imagery simply don’t happen for me unless I put some real effort into it.

But then… what do I see? The best way I can describe it is that I see action. I see what the characters are doing. I revel in good dialogue and character interactions. Internal monologue is usually pretty good for me, too.

And then that carries over into my writing. I write what I “see.” Thus the dearth of character descriptions! I’d like to think I excel at describing what people are doing and their dialogue, but describing what people look like? It just doesn’t happen as much.

Which gives me a place to grow.

How about you? What do you “see” when you read? Do you get a crystal clear picture, close to reality, or is it something totally different?