Don’t Date a Writer

A recent survey conducted by Good Mythical Morning revealed that the worst job a person could put on their dating profile is “Influencer/ Content Creator.”

Uh oh.

I create… a good amount of content. I’ve got this weekly blog. I’m writing a minimum of six novels a year. I’m making two TikTok videos a day. And that’s in my life as a writer. In my “day job” as a pastor, I also write two sermons, five devotions, and three bible studies a week. I produce a lot of content!

Apparently I am not desirable to date.

Well, that’s not a bad thing. I’m already married, and my wife likes me most days. I don’t need to find someone new to date!

Also, I don’t think I’d call myself an “influencer.” I do my best to be transparent. For instance, I’m very open about my depression. I’m not out to make myself look good, and the only things I’m selling are my books. (Yes, I’d love it if you’d check them out!)

But there are downsides to being romantically involved with a writer.

  • Writers tend to live in their heads. I will start a conversation with, “And then Cade discovers this huge room with nothing in it! The biggest on the Ark, and it’s empty!” And my wife will blink at me, not knowing that she was in the middle of a conversation with my imagination.
  • Writers hoard books, even if we never read them. If you’ve ever seen a dragon lay atop its jeweled pile of treasure, well, imagine that, but with books, and with an author. Yeah, I know, it’s not as pretty a picture. Sorry about that. Authors generally aren’t that pretty.
  • Authors will shout, “Eureka!” at two in the morning because they’ve finally figured out that plot point.
  • Authors will despair when they finally sit down to write because the solution to that plot point has vanished into the aether.
  • Authors will work on a manuscript for seventy-five and a half hours, scream, and delete everything.
  • Authors will think that they will sell tens of thousands of copies of their book, no, I mean maybe one, and then only to mom, no, it’ll be a bestseller, who am I kidding, not even mom will like it, I mean–
  • Authors crave food. Most people do, sure, but authors will use the food to power their word-making-fingers and they will type and you don’t want that.
  • Authors will write for either seventy hours a week or about ten minutes a week, with nothing in between. You never know which it will be until halfway through Wednesday.

All in all, I think the survey was right. I wouldn’t date me. I’m very grateful my wife did, though. She’s pretty awesome.

(And by the way, I’d love it if you clicked over to my next project, Cade and the Last Starship, and clicked “Notify me on launch”!)

Published by Jon

Jon lives in Kentucky with his wife and an insanity of children. (A group of children is called an insanity. Trust me.)

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