A Family’s Journey through Lord of the Rings

My eldest son is about to go back to college. He requested for his last weekend home to watch all of Lord of the Rings.

That’s a lot of movie in one weekend, yo.

But we watched them all as a family. We’ve watched it before, but this time around I recorded some of the responses from the kids. Experiencing a story with others brings up new thoughts, surprising insights, and… well, sometimes some laughter.

So I’m sharing some of my family’s responses, in the general order that they happened:

• My six-year-old daughter informs me, “Elves aren’t real. They just put things on their ears like [my older sister] does.”
• A certain elf appears for the first time. My six-year-old daughter declares, “There’s Legolas! He’s my favorite.” Yes, the six-year-old has a crush on Legolas.
• Throughout the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring, you get snatches of black speech. For some reason, I got an image of Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean taking on the part of Sauron. I now want to see someone edit in Rowan Atkinson in the background of various Lord of the Rings scenes.
• I’ve ready plenty of theories on what would happen if Sam kept the Ring. But what would happen if Pip had received the ring? I mentioned it to a friend. He thinks Pip would use it for tomfoolery, and I suspect much the same. My friend suggests also that Pip would likely end up the same as Gollum then. I think that’s pretty reasonable.
• Gimli desperately wants the fellowship to go through Moria. But he doesn’t know the password. Why doesn’t he know the password?
• My six-year-old asks, “They use fake weapons, right? So no one dies?”
• My six-year-old remarks, “The balrog has a good costume.” Yes. Yes he does.
• Another comment from the six-year-old: “Gimli has a really long beard!”
• My college student would like to live in New Zealand now. However, he thinks that New Zealand and Norway are next to each other. My college student probably needs to take a geography course.
• My college-aged son says, “He broke his toe. You gotta say it.”
• My six-year-old now would like a horse. She is quite partial to the Rohirim.
• I think if I grow out my hair, I could cosplay as Theoden. No one agrees with me. This makes me sad.
• Theoden: “Is this the worst you can do, Saruman?”
  College-aged son: “Never say that! Why do people in movies never learn?”
  Me: “People in movies have never seen movies.”
  15-year-old daughter: “Not true! Spider-Man!”
  Me: “Okay. No one in Lord of the Rings has seen a movie.”
• Legolas skateboards.
  Six-year-old: “Can I do that?”
  My wife: “No.”
• Six-year-old, of the large tree people: “Those are gi-ents!” I am proud of her play on words.
• Six-year-old, when an ent is on fire: “Fire will kill him to death!”
• Sam, in Osgiliath: “By rights, we shouldn’t even be here.”
  My wife: “Like you weren’t in the books!”
• Apparently the six-year-old thought Pippin and Merry were the same person. She was very confused.
• My fam started a kill count for Eowyn. They’re convinced she might have more kills than Legolas or Gimli, at least for Return of the King. After all, she took down an Oliphant, a fell beast and the Witch King!
• An argument broke out among the family as to how many Wilhelm screams they caught.
• I’m no longer allowed to sing, “Where there’s a whip, there’s a way.”
• The six-year-old, advising Sam and Frodo: “Throw Gollum off a cliff!”
• The six-year-old: “That’s how you destroy the eyeball. By destroying the Ring!”

And thus we have concluded another watch of an amazing epic. I’ll be back with more writing content next week!